Phone Etiquette Tip for Tuesday 4/26/05

Dudes! If you call a business, please identify yourself in a usable manner, for example....
"Hi, this is Joe Blow with Dopey Inc., may I speak with Mr. One?" This type of call will get you in good with the Gatekeeper, trust me.
Now, THIS type of call, on the other hand....
Caller: "Yeah, can I talk with Employee Who Has Been Gone For 4 Years? I need to talk to him about the order he placed with us. "
Me: "I'm sorry, sir, he doesn't work here any longer." (Thinking to self: Hell of a long lead time on that puppy!)
Caller: "Well, who else works in that department?"
Me: "May I ask who's calling?"
Caller: "Joe Blow with TotallyClueless Enterprises of the Dallas Branch of Blah Blah Blah in business since 1945 blah blah blah, I really need to talk with someone in purchasing- or Engineering- yeah, let me talk to an engineer- who's in your engineering department?"
My Fantasy Reponse: Shut up, you clueless idiot! Grrrrrrrrrr!
My Actual Response: "One moment, please." (page Unlucky Purchasing Department and transfer call. Prepare to hide under desk when Purchasing answers phone only to discover one more junk call. Send quick e-mail apologizing for same.)