Hello again, finally!

Whoa! I haven't been in this neighborhood for a while! I'm afraid this Christian Strip Club thing is taking up a lot of my time, but hey, all for a good cause, hmmm?? So here's the latest news on that: I finally found a building- well, actually, it's in a - wait for it- STRIP MALL! So I got all my permits and everything, got the inside done the way I want it, and have been hiring dancers for the past few weeks. Here in this state, if you're having nude dancers you can't serve alcohol, so I'll be having a nice coffee and juice bar instead. AND since it's a Christian club, I'll be serving cookies also-- oooh, maybe even coffee cake if I decide to open in the mornings- or is that a little too precious?
Now if you have any ideas about what would be good to include in the dance menu, please speak up! Of course the club will be having the Holy Pole Dance, and the Hallelujah Chorus Line, but I could use some help here. This is not actually my line of work, so any of you folks who have input, please speak right up. Eternal gratitude will be yours....
Late breaking news from Gatekeeper Land:
Some people are idiots. One more time, folks, one more time... If you call a business, PLEASE identify yourself to the person who answers the phone. (That's me, folks.) I'm going to ASK you who you are and what company you are with, so make it easy on us both and start the conversation like this:
"Hi, this is Joe Salesman with ABC company, may I speak with Joe Purchasing Agent?"
I will then say, "Yes, one moment please."
There now, wasn't that easy??
So much better that this:
Caller: "May I speak with Joe Purchasing Agent?"
Me: "Yes, may I tell him who's calling?"
Caller: (sounds disgusted because I do not know who he is since unbeknownst to him he does not have a distinctive voice) "This is Joe Salesman with ABC Company," (heavy sigh)
Me: "Thank you, one moment please." (thinks to self, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr, you dope, just say who the hell you are to START with!!)
It's a little thing, to be sure, but multiply that one little exchange by, oh, say 40 or 60 calls and by the time the Gatekeeper has to ask adult people to identify themselves for a business call over and over and over and over and over again all damn day long, it's no freaking wonder the Gatekeeper has an attitude by Thursday! I tell ya, it's enough to make a person want to start a Christian Strip Club!! Oh, and I haven't even mentioned that it's summer, and that means everybody's children are out of school, and THAT means that there are lots and lots of kids who need Mom or Dad's input on all sorts of important questions such as, "Can I go swimming/over to Jimmy's house/out to buy some drugs/running around with my friends without being specific as to who or where/etc etc etc?????" My personal favorite is the chain phone call, where the child calls in to ask if he or she can do something with someone before he/she has found out if the chosen activity is okay with the other kid's parents. Parent who works where I do says fine, if it's okay with the other kid's parents. This means another phone call after THAT important question has been answered, and maybe another call to select ANOTHER activity if the answer is no. It's enough to make the Gatekeeper very very tired, but not so tired at the end of the day that she can't manage to lift her jug of red red wine and pour herself a nice glassful! If the Gatekeeper is not a total wino by the end of the summer it will be surprising...